The Long and Winding Road/Journey to 26.2

The Long and Winding Road......that leads to Boylston Street!

I am writing for the first time since April 13, 2013, when I dedicated the 2013 Marathon to Rosanne Ameno.  I have thought about posting many times, but have not been able to do it.  Even now, as I'm typing, my heart is beating faster and I feel anxious.  But I have to write - it's time.  I'm going to tell you today about the events as I saw them of April 15, 2013 - a snapshot view.  Our Long and Winding Road to 26.2 will span 2 marathons - thank you for taking the journey with me!

April 15, 2013.  That morning was UNBELIEVABLE, one I will never forget.  Perfect weather, the kind we ALL wished for.  Carl brought me to meet my Red Sox Foundation team at our private bus, parked at the Westin Copley.  I loaded the bus, and gave many of my team members a hug - I love this team!  I sat in my seat, took out my snacks, plugged my phone in to charge, and hoped to take a little nap en route to Hopkinton.  No nap, though, I was way too excited.  I thought about my boys and Carl, waiting for me on those VIP bleachers at the finish line.  "Boy this bus is driving a long way.......and I know how I'm getting back here!"  NO WAY I was going back NOW!  Next Stop......Athlete's Village.  My team that morning in Hopkinton:

My first time at Athlete's Village.  What an experience - the excitement and anticipation in Hopkinton that morning was something I'll never forget.  The announcements of the Elite Runner's Starting, and the groups following.  Bouncing around chatting with my teammates either in the village or on the bus.  Best thing about the private bus?  Private toilet!  :)

Then, they announced our corrals.  We got ready, had our layers of throw away extra clothing on (Thanks Carl), and brought our bags to the buses to be transported back to Boston to be waiting for us at the finish line.  I put everything in there - wallet, license, everything I would not need for running went on that bus.  We started walking toward the starting line, and Pete Borgmann snapped this photo of me - I'm such a dork, I was SO excited!!

The sound of the starting gun - Wow!  The Boston Marathon!  Ran past the starting line, waved at all the TV cameras, was enjoying seeing all the runners make their way to their spots along their journeys.  Mile 1 for Dennis Peterlin.  Was thinking of him and praying for his family, my friends, the Peterlin family.  Over this year, he did pass away - STUPID CANCER!  So many people cheering, little kids high fiving - I had to slap so many hands, and savor the moment!  Obviously I was not interested in my time, I was having way too much fun soaking it all in. 


Running through Hopkinton, Ashland....and then OUCH, I started to hobble, my hip all the way to my knee was hurting - something snapped and I had to hobble walk/run for the next 17 miles!  It hurt, but I was still having fun (turns out I had a FOURTH degree stress fracture in the center of my Iliac Bone in my hip!  Lucky it didn't snap in two! Can't believe I ran 17 miles on that!).    At this point, I texted my boys and told them to go to their seats at the bleachers at 4 - 4:30, rather than 3:00pm, as I'd be at least an hour behind schedule due to the injury.  In hindsight, WOW, I'm so happy I made that text!!

Loved seeing the ZLX "I quit" tent, and all my mile markers for people.  I had "26.2 For Rosanne" on the back of my vest, and so many people I passed yelled her name!  Mile 13 for Alexander the Great, through Wellesley!  Wow, that was FUN!   The whole way of my race, I was running behind and in front of a Juggler - this year, I sure hope to run ahead of a guy who can run and juggle at the same time!  He kept me amused for miles!  Mile 18 for Debbie Rech Whitmore, and all the miles in between, each dedicated to a friend who has either lost someone dear to them, or someone struggling with cancer.  It kept me going on that stress fracture, and I knew I had to get to Tony's Mile (25) and Rosanne's Mile (26 - 26.2).   Couldn't wait to see my boys and Carl at the finish line!!  We're almost there!!!

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And then things would never be the same........

Making my way up the Newton Hills was so interesting - I trained on them, so I knew them.  What I noticed first that seemed unusual, was that the water stations were packing up, and I did not understand, I was SO thirsty and needed some water.  The course is open for 6 hours, so it wasn't that.....I couldn't figure it out.  I kept going.  The guys who were riding bikes around and checking in from time to time were now not around.  There was also a man from China in my little 'pack' who spoke no English.  We ran separately but together for much of the way.   His goal, I'm sure was just to keep running until he got to Boylston Street.  But that was not going to happen today.  Suddenly, there were many golf carts with BAA people (I was coming up to Heartbreak Hill Running Company (home of my favorite gorilla!), just shy of Mile 20 and right before the final incline of Heartbreak Hill that leads into BC). My brother had just texted me asking me if I was ok?  (In my mind I thought, I'm great, just hobbling along!).   I was sooooo anticipating seeing my friends, The AGINS, waiting for me just after Mile 20 with their sign!   With the exception of that crazy pain shooting up my leg, the rest of me felt fine and I had it in me to finish this race.  The people in the carts were saying, "The Race is Over".   I got a text from Luisa, saying the race was over and that they would wait for me.  What ???  We were still making our way up Heartbreak Hill.  This had to be some sort of mistake.  Finally, one of the golf carts had someone saying, "There are bombs along the course, get off the roads!!!".  (I'm shaking again as I type this).   WHAT ???  Suddenly, my phone became VERY important - as we all cleared the roads and were sent to wander the side streets of Chestnut Hill, everyone was SO confused!  Where do we go?  Is there a train?  WHAT is happening?  Chatter of "a gas explosion at Marathon Sports", etc.  Then I saw a glimpse of what happened on Facebook! 

Holy Mother of GOD, my kids are at the FINISH LINE!

I don't remember anything for a little bit after this realization, just panic...... Luisa texted me that my kids were safe, and I breathed the BIGGEST SIGH OF RELIEF EVER IN MY LIFE!!!!!!  I quickly posted on Facebook that I was fine.  (I noticed that so many people were asking already if I was ok).  Meanwhile, my body was starting to fall apart - from going UP the Newton Hills for miles, and then just meandering along side streets, I started to shiver.  Everyone was. No water anywhere except what I had on me.   A man gave me his blanket that BAA was handing out.  I will save that forever.  The man from China could not figure out what was going on at all - Imagine that??

I called my Mom and got through - she is always glued to the news, and was I was SURE panicking.  But this time, she was not!  I said, "Mom, turn on the news, and please know, the boys and I are fine.  I have to go". 

Luisa's phone died, but Warren texted me and said they were coming to pick me up on the corner of Heartbreak Hill Running Company.  (home of my favorite gorilla!!)  Like heroes in the night, they wisked me away from there, and brought me home, where I saw for the first time what happened that day along Boylston Street......  my friends who were there have described in painful detail what they saw that day - things we never think we will ever see as Americans.  My friends who work at Mandarin Oriental had a 4th floor front row view of the 2nd bombing, and some of them shake in terror about coming back to work on that day this year. 

For anyone completely out of touch enough to say Boston overreacted to that day cannot imagine what people went through.  The ONLY reason we did not lose more lives is because it was at the finish line with all the emergency medical tents, doctors, nurses and volunteers right there, and some of the world's best hospitals all within a mile or two.  Ambulances ready to rescue runners had a different job that day.  Runners had to keep running, despite already traveling 26.2 miles.  People who live and work in that area saw a war zone.  People I know have lost limbs, and are STILL learning to walk again, hear again, have some sense of normalcy again in their "New Normal".  Some lost family members that day and will never be the same.  What turned out to be such a promising day, was wrecked and robbed by terrorists who ended up on the cover of a Rolling Stone.  (I still won't buy that magazine, OR buy ANYTHING at Barnes and Noble).  Boston was amazing in the week that followed and we hunted those animals down.  Boston STRONG!

As Boston Magazine so beautifully portrayed on their cover following the Marathon Tragedy, "We will finish the race".  And now that race is less than 3 months away.   We will finish that race one step at a time.   I will finish my blog.   I'm so grateful for so many of you who have followed along with me.  Ready to do it again??   Ready or not, here we go !!!!


I am running again this year for The Red Sox Foundation.  While the BAA granted me entry to participate this year without raising money for a charity,  I'm so impressed with all the work the RSF does, I'm raising money again this year.  Inspired by Rosanne due to the Red Sox generosity with The Jimmy Fund, I chose the RSF last year and the journey was amazing.  The money raised by our Marathon team goes to Red Sox Scholars and RBI league programming - please support my journey and the Red Sox Foundation here:  http://www.fenwayoga.com/RSFBostonMarathon/MariaShea

     My son took this picture that I discovered a few months after.  That was the blanket I received from the kind gentlemen who also had his race cut short. 

For Rosanne

 

 

I can just about feel Rosanne toasting our soon to be run in this picture.  I've been thinking lots abut Rosanne.  Carl and I had the unique experience of being with Rosanne on the eve before she left us.  At one point, she sat up out of an almost-coma, and said she wanted her shoes - she asked us how in the world she could go out with out her shoes on.  I wonder what she knew?  I think about that all the time. 

 

Rosanne, I have a great pair of shoes for us.  They have taken me on an incredible journey, and to me, are some seriously pumped up kicks.  They are about to take us through The Boston Marathon.  Can you believe it?   I will have your prayer card in my pocket, along with my Dad's, my Nana's and some other special friends.

 

I miss her.  I miss her love, her spirit, her intelligence, her kindness, her tolerance of all.  The way she made people feel like we were her best friend - so many of us.  I hope I can live every day in appreciation of my life, and the life that was cut short for her.  In appreciation of the family and friends she so loved, that I am grateful every day to know.  And I only knew her for such a short time!  I can only imagine the way her family and friends feel.

 

I miss her for Michael.  I miss her for her kids.  I miss her for her family and Michael's family.  For her army of friends.  She was so good to all of them.  She was so good for all of them.  A proud, intelligent, liberal, Catholic woman.  I'm proud to have been considered among her "Army" of friends.  Any time Carl talks to his Auntie Lucy about Rosanne, she pulls out her prayer card - from right on top.  Rosanne - your picture may not have been on Auntie's wall, but it is forever in her heart and by her bedside.

 

We are running many miles on Monday, for many people - those who have survived and kicked cancer's butt - those fighting, and those who lost their fight with Cancer - and also some of my family we have lost in recent years to other illness.   Dennis (1 - Barb & Doug), Gene (2 - Kelley), Jackie (lucky Robin 3 - Diane), Walter, Barbara & Kathy (4,5,6 - Joyce & Kerry), MOM (lucky 7), My Papa (8), NANA (9), Lindsay (10- Katelyn), Terry Neely (11), Paul (12- Rachelle), ALEXANDER THE GREAT (13), Bill Shea (14), Kim & Karla Walker's Mom (15),  Deb (17, Melissa), Debbie R-W (18), Gramma (19), Luisa (20), DAD (Lucky 21), Helen (22- Kathleen), WILLIE (23- Richard), Flo (24 - Pam), TONY (25 - Cathy), ROSANNE (26 - 26.2 - and of course, the whole race).  Here are some of the prayer cards coming with me Monday in my back jacket pocket:

 

Rosanne, it's been a long journey since you passed on July 22.  A long, painful, interesting, joyous journey.  But together, we've raised a lot of money and logged a lot of miles.  We've got a few more to go.  26.2 to be exact.  You ready?  I've got our shoes now!!!  And what do you think of our vest???

 

Runnin' On Empty!

As I hobble around limping because my IT band is screaming this week, I realize that now I've done all I can, I can do no more, and I find myself Runnin' on Empty.  I'm weary, and it's almost a week after the 22 miler.  Tired.  Sore.  Nervous.  Time to TAPER for the next couple of weeks, and re-fuel for THE BIG SHOW!  I wish I had more time to prepare.  Which I will have after I finish my first 26.2 !!

Pictured below is my Red Sox Foundation team - a few of the runners :).  And a friend who took the beautiful picture of her finger with all of us (love it!)

Fundraisers are done, body is about as ready as it can be given my time constraints.   I am healing and recovering from the big 22, and completely obsessed with April 15. (I'm sure I'm annoying so many people because of that!!)  My first Marathon.  It looks like all lights are green, and we are preparing for take-off!  The 22 mile run from Hopkinton (yes, the one all the way out there at rte 495 and the pike!) to Boston College was INTENSE, and there were times I wanted to quit. (There are WAY too many train stops right along the marathon route!). I ran past The Chicken Bone "THE BONE!" in Framingham (What a LONG town....), and had some laughs about driving "way out there" with some dear friends one night to hear "The Peach Eaters" - Ellen, Carol and Bob Herne to name a few some years ago!

  Two things kept me going.  ONE, the people.  You.  My angels.  Other runners.  And those giving up the day to hold signs along the route!  There was someone holding a sign around mile 11 or so that said, "Ten Miles to Taper"!  I realized then, that I was about to embark on the "Taper" period of marathon training.  Where you back way off your mileage, cross train, eat right, and prepare for the big day.  Wow!!  Time went by so fast.  I stuck to my one step at a time plan, and with all your help and support, here we are!  The "trial run" from Hopkinton to BC was truly inspirational - the "Charity Team" event.  All the people running for their causes, many dressed up as Easter bunnies or Easter baskets!

TWO- The other thing that kept me going was an incredible "Set List"  (I think in concerts when it comes to music).  In particular, for this past run, here are some stories about my music:

"Why Aye Man" - Thank's for joining me, Tony McDermott!  Mile 25!  "Sultans of Swing"  Dire Straits - is my #1 song to run to - perfect cadence timing.
"Word Up" - makes me think of my time at Wake Forest University - my friend Pam Parker Jones, and brought to mind her Mom, Flo Parker - who has mile 24!

Some more of the greats that keep me going:
"You'd better Run" - Pink Floyd (the steady beat of this song got me up one of the first Newton Hills with ease)
"Right Now" - Van Halen - This IS IT !!
"Take it Easy" - Eagles.......Runnin' down the road tryin' to loosen my load!
"You've got another thing comin'" - Judas Priest - "If you think I'll sit around as the world goes by, you're thinkin like a fool, cuz it's a case of do or die!"
"Already Gone"- Eagles.....I'm already gone, and I'm feelin' strong.  I will sing this victory song!
"Sweet Child o Mine"  - Slash's riff will get anyone moving!
"Maybe I'm Amazed" - Carl keeps me going on this one
"Moves like Jagger" - Just because!  Reminds me of fun on the Vineyard with my amazing sons who inspire me daily!
"Freebird" - Lynyrd Skynyrd.  My life's anthem.  I want this played at my funeral some day if my body ever decides to give out.
"Time to Move On" - Tom Petty 
"Jungleland" - Bruce Springsteen.  Clarence Clemens keeps me going.
"Lovely Day" by Bill Withers.  Rosanne.  Last weekend, it was cloudy, this song came on and I was thinking of her.  The clouds parted and a streak of sun came through - it was truly a lovely day.
My Aerosmith appearances along the way are:  "Dream On"  "One Way Street"  "Mamakin" for my sons and Tim and "Baby Please Don't Go".  I had to be selective here, because the thought of Aerosmith also reminds me of some painful times that I've moved past, so I did drop a lot of songs along the journey.
"Saint of Me"  Rolling Stones - one of my favorites to run to. (as well as live in concert!)
"Shippin' Up to Boston"  and "Dirty Water"  for my Sox and my beloved town.  I have thoroughly enjoyed exploring Boston as a runner this cold winter.

Speaking of Tony and Rosanne, I realized something on my last run.  I'm not running for those who have passed - I thought I was.  Especially since Rosanne connected me to Alexander, and her wishes were to connect us to funds that go toward children, especially childhood cancer, like The Jimmy Fund.  I thought that was what this was all about.  BUT it's bigger than that!  (It usually is).

I am running for the people who survive when someone beautiful is taken away from them too soon.  When I go to the funerals and wakes, and say "I'm sorry", it's never enough.  How can my friends - Cathy (Tony, Mile 25), Michael, Mario, Jay, Michelle, DiLeo's, Amenos (Rosanne, Mile 26 - and the dedication of the whole race), Rachelle (Paul, Mile 12), Richard (Willie, Mile 23), Katelyn (Lindsay, Mile 10), Pam (Flo Parker, Mile 24), Diane (Jackie Roy, Mile 3) Nancy (Alexander, Mile 13),Kelley (Gene, Mile 2), Melissa (Deb, Mile 17), Kathleen (Helen, mile 22), and so many more, know I support them?  I'm running to support you.  For my family - we lost grandparents too early - and we miss our angels, My DAD and my NANA so much - I'm running because that hurts something awful, and I need to spend time and miles and honor their souls.  For those of you in the fight - Debbie (Mile 18), Dennis (Mile 1), Terry (Mile 11),  Kim and Karla Walker's MOM (Mile 14), I run to let you know I'm thinking of you, and honoring your fight, your fear.  For those who are cancer-free now:  Luisa (Mile 20 - Prentice St up Heartbreak Hill), and My Mom (mile 7).  As I'm running, I'm thinking of you all; and many more I'm not mentioning here.  Praying for you.  Sending light and love to you.  And I'm running.  I'm running for me, because if my body sits here with all this pain and doesn't do something it will implode! As Elizabeth mentioned on my facebook page, I'm channeling that hurt, and fear, into something positive.  Raising money along the way for The Jimmy Fund walk, The Red Sox Foundation.  Turning pain into positive.  Darkness into a little tiny shred of light.  But I'm Runnin' On Empty right now.   But......I'm Runnin'!!!  One. Step. At. A. Time!!!  Thank YOU for ALL your support.  Love you all very much. 

The Show Must Go On

I love that Queen song - about Freddie Mercury facing death - and translatable to so many things in life.  How does that relate here?  Sometimes (like today) I am not sure I can go on!  I'm SORE!  I'm Tired!  I want to stop all this training and cross training and take a little break.  Can I really do this?  What was I thinking?  Can I run a marathon, really??


Can he run a marathon?

Yeah, I think I can do it too.  Thank you, Hoyts, for all your inspiration!

Can she run a marathon?

I have 2 legs, and a very strong aerobic capacity.  I'm made up of almost all slow-twitch fibers.  Yeah, I think I can do this.

So many of you have said, "I could never do that".  We all can do anything we set our minds to, really. (well, check back in with me on April 16 about that comment) :)

So, that being said, it's time for a nice long Saturday run.   The show must go on!! (But just for the record, I want to sit in my jammies all morning before I need to go to work at 1, drink coffee, eat pancakes and eggs with my son Tj).....But....here I go-  ONE STEP AT A TIME!

You're The Inspiration

 

My journey to 26.2 - lots of things have happened since my last blog, including LOTS of steps.  I’ve had some good runs, and some bad runs. One of them, the first 13.1 I tried,  I had to jump on the T and take it home because the area around my scar tissue was getting sore!   On another day, I ran 18 and still had more fuel in the tank even!  This weekend I’m up for 20+ !!  Framingham to Boston. Imagine that?? I cannot, actually – will believe it when it happens.  I do think it will be hard actually, because I'm a little sore from training so much.  Here is one picture along my 18 mile snowy run (you never know who you're going to meet out there!):

 

So many of you call me an inspiration. Me?  I appreciate your kind words, and they keep me going whenever I want to quit!  But, I do not feel like an inspiration - I'm just putting one foot in front of the other for extended periods of time.  

 

There are so many who inspire ME!   Rosanne Ameno, who fought so hard to have a few extra years with her family. Rosanne’s family, who are so proud, and loving, and connected – carrying on bravely without her.  My marathon is dedicated to Rosanne - she inspired me to do this, and in some ways is saving me by doing so.  The Megna/Whipple family, carrying on without their Alexander. Cathy McDermott inspires me tremendously – raising two strong, smart, beautiful teenagers, after the loss our her husband and our friend Tony (I'm SO proud to be among her friends - she's my hero!). Richard, carrying on without his dear Willie.  Debbie Rech-Whitmore, fighting the same cancer Rosanne did - a young, beautiful wife and mother, with Rosanne's spirit of rockin' the halls of Dana Farber! My beautiful friend Kim's Mom, fighting cancer hard, as Kim continues to run and bike and swim to raise money to cure cancer.  Luisa Zauli inspires me – she fought cancer and won, while Max and Daniela were babies.  Luisa taught me, through her struggle with cancer, to appreciate the little stresses in life, that she hoped to get back if and when she was cured.  My Mom inspires me, always, and throughout life has always been my biggest fan. She also battled cancer and won.  She has always been "The wind beneath my wings".  Even when she thinks I'm taking on something too big for me (like this marathon within 6 months of having major surgery), she is my biggest cheerleader.  Thanks, Mom!

 

When my Grandfather had cancer, one stretch of it was during the Blizzard of  '78.  My Mom and Uncle took my Nana to visit him at the VA hospital in JP.  They were the only ones on the highway that night, except for stranded cars, with a police escort, because my Grandfather was scared and need to see them.

 

THESE are inspirational stories. These (and so many more) keep me going. I think about my Nonna traveling from Italy with one trunk, pregnant, with kids in tow - to meet my Nonno in Leominster.  Imagine how scared she was??  Just so my brothers, sisters, cousins, nieces and nephews could have a better life?   Nothing along my journey has been hard comparatively......

 

SO now that we have all that out of the way, THIS IS IT!!  Six weeks from YESTERDAY I will be running with some of the world's most elite athletes from Hopkinton to Boston (well, we are registered for the same race, I know I'll never see them).  Talk about a THRILL!  I hope I can make it.  I worry that I won't. (But another inspiration of mine, Lisa Gallagher, helps me keep my thinking on track here).   I'm paranoid that I'm going to get injured, as March Training Madness is INTENSE.  For example in the past 24 hours I ran a 10k, took a Core Fusion Yoga class AND swam 2500 yards!  For now, the training, however, is on track for me to finish my first marathon on April 15, 2013 right here in my favorite city.

  Fundraising is beyond on track - I'm almost at $7,000.  I was going to have one more fundraiser and dedicate it to Rosanne, but that is just too hard emotionally still.  Maybe it's too soon still.   My North End Bingo fundraiser (see picture below) was a HUGE success, and so much fun, but every time I thought about why I was raising money, I cried.  As I was dedicating the fundraiser to people who have inspired me and thanking all of you who helped me make it great, my hands shook, and I almost broke down.   I cried hard that night for Rosanne, Alexander, Willie, Tony.  I cried for the people who are supporting me that are left here to carry on.  I thought about Mario, who worries when skiing that his friends are going to ditch him.  I was thinking about this, and wondering why he worries so much about that, but then I understand.   I think of Rosanne's beautiful parents (who came out on that snowy Sunday after the blizzard to support me to the North End from East Boston!).  I think of Michael Ameno, finding his way without the love of his life.  Michelle and Jay, also without Rosanne - who was SUCH a life force.   It's all too fresh still, and missing Rosanne seems to get harder and harder with time right now - and I only knew her for such a small portion of her life.  So, I'm going to wait for a better time, and work with Rosanne's lovely daughter and parents to plan something to truly dedicate to the memory of this remarkable woman.  Instead of this fundraiser, I'm going in with some of my Red Sox Foundation teammates, and having one last fundraiser at Game On!  I hope you all can join me.  It will be held on March 27 from 6pm - whenever.  Come for dinner and some drinks, and meet the amazing people on my team.  I'll be starting a facebook page for this, and will keep everyone posted as the date draws near.  In the meantime, please save the date.  Here is a picture from the "Blizzard Bingo" fundraiser - such a fun day:

 

 

For those of you who have not been able to make a fundraiser, but would still like to support my journey financially as I raise money for The Red Sox Foundation, here is the link to my fundraising page:  https://www.fundraise.com/the-red-sox-foundation-inc/marias-boston-marathon-page.

 

When I run Heartbreak Hill, something mystical happens.  I feel the ghosts with me.  I could not be more serious.  I feel Rosanne and Tony especially, and music that I run to that reminds me of them always comes on during that time.   I can see Willie on the side of the road having a cocktail, cheering me on, while telling me I look fabulous of course :).  And I see Alexander with his mother, my friend Nancy, his grandmother Alice, his father and sister, Julia- which is where he belongs.  I am brought to tears each and every time I see Boston College at the top of Heartbreak Hill.  I cannot imagine what this will feel like on April 15!! 

 

My recovery from surgery on November 14?  Well, I feel better than I have in years.  Not even 4 months post-op yet - hard to believe that.  I do believe that tumor in me was wreaking all kinds of havoc and I'm happy to have it OUT.  But I can feel where my stomach is healing - especially during long runs and times when I'm training a lot.  I have learned to listen to my body and back off whenever that happens.  It reminds me of my limitations but also how far I've come.  Sometimes, I still have to take walk breaks, but not nearly as often as I thought I would.  Truly, everyone who reads this, thank you for all your support!  I'm blessed with such incredible friends and family.  I'm so grateful for this journey - each step at a time, one step at a time, has brought inner and outer growth and strength to me.  Love to you all.

 

I do have one more blog coming about training, diet, and other things I'm learning along the way that supplement my education in physiology, but that's for another day.  Stay tuned......but I have one more picture for you today.  The inspiration behind everything I do, my sons, Tj and Nicholas.  Thank you both for being such supportive sons!  I could NOT do this without you-

 

 

 

No, I won't back down.....

 

 

 

Wow, this is getting HARD.  Today, I needed to log in 8 miles to stay on course for 26.2 on April 15 (and even then I'm short, because I still have not been cleared to fully run yet).  I did NOT want to go.  I was tired - I had to get up at 4:30 to wake the kids up for their ski trip.  I fell on the ice yesterday and my left hip was pretty sore still.  I went to a memorial service for my friend's father, and ate too much afterward, so I had that 'full' feeling.  I had the WHOLE house to myself all day (kids and Carl were off on a ski trip).  Wa, wa wa.....

 

Thoughts in my head, knowing I HAVE to stay on track to make this event possible for me:

 

"People would understand if I back out of the Marathon, I just had MAJOR surgery in November, taking out my uterus and 6 inches of my bowels."

 

"So and so keeps telling me I'm crazy to do this anyway at 'my age', maybe she's right.  Maybe he's right."

 

You get the picture!

 

Then I thought of Rosanne...... +Rosanne Ameno 

 

Michael and Rosanne's son Mario spent the night here last night - he had such a good time.  I cherish times with Mario, Michelle and Jay, because they each remind me of my dear friend Rosanne in their own way. But having Mario here, made me think so much of Rosanne because we all did so much together.  I thought of what she battled so bravely.   NOTHING I DO is hard compared to what she did for her family and friends.  Going to the gym a few days after chemotherapy, so she could squeeze just a few more drops out of life to be here with us.  Bearing the most severe chemotherapy in the hopes of surviving a little longer, if not forever.  Staring death in the face, yet joyfully experiencing magical moments in life with her family and cherished friends.

 

Here is one of my favorite pictures of Rosanne - taken about 2 months before we lost our dear girl:

 

 

So, I put my Asics on, and off I went.  First song I heard today on my playlist was Tom Petty's "I won't back down."    Just what I needed to hear!  No, I won't back down.  Additionally, it was a beautiful day, and lots of runners and walkers out on the spectacular Charles.  Eight miles of my jog/walk intervals felt long today.  Now all I have to do is multiply that by 3 and add a couple miles to that!  BUT, it's 3 miles MORE than I did last weekend, and there are so many reasons for me to keep going.  YES, I want to raise money for an incredible foundation, The Red Sox Foundation (Here is a link to learn more, and to help me raise funds -  https://www.fundraise.com/the-red-sox-foundation-inc/marias-boston-marathon-page?edit=1).  But I'm also running for all the angels we've lost before their time.  Rosanne, Tony, Bernie, Alexander the Great, sadly, the list grows, and goes on and on and on, and I will be compiling a list just like I did for the Jimmy Fund Marathon in September:

 

 

 Add to this, the 26 beautiful souls who left us before their time in Newtown, CT - I will run a mile for each of you.   And, I will NOT BACK DOWN!!

 

In other news, My doctor's appointment is Tuesday - hoping to get full clearance to be able to really run!  And ski!  And work!  And everything else-  fingers crossed.  AND my dear friend from New Mexico and I are doing a 30 day health cleanse - no coffee, alcohol, chemicals, fried foods, anything you might imagine that will not enhance my health is off the list.  This should also help me along our journey.  Wish me luck :).  Stay tuned for more information along this journey, which has truly become our journey.  Thank you for ALL your support.  Love you all.  Happy New Year!!  xo



26.2 The Journey Continues!

26.2.  What a number!  We all have our 26.2's in life as I mentioned in a previous blog.   Big, scary, mountainous goals ahead of us, that we wish to accomplish, are determined to accomplish.  Personally, I need big goals to get me moving, to get me out of my comfort zone.  When I started this journey after The Jimmy Fund Marathon Walk on September 9, I had no idea the obstacles I'd face, only the heroes who paved the road ahead for me to run.  I keep telling myself I can do this, one step at a time, and when I hit an obstacle, I just move the lever a little - adjust the formula.  We can do this.....

In order to help me along my journey to run 26.2 miles on April 15, 2013, I knew I'd need to lose some weight.  I originally set to lose 26.2 total, which I hit TODAY!  I increased my goal as I got closer, as I do realize it will be easier for me to go all those miles with less weight, but I'm still really excited to pass this first 'marathon' mark.  I owe a lot of it to being finally, "ready to change", and finally keeping track of my calories in and out on SparkPeople.com.  I'm continually inspired on that website by others with similar goals - to "Die Young at a Very Old Age"  (Quote to Don Bergey of WFU).

Some other goals ahead of 26.2 magnitude:  The amount of $ I need to raise for The Red Sox Foundation?  $2,620.  Hoping for a total of over $5,000, and I've raised over $2,000 so far, so we're getting there.  Please contribute to my efforts to help The Red Sox Foundation!  More about that particularly VERY generous local charity here: 

https://www.fundraise.com/the-red-sox-foundation-inc/marias-boston-marathon-page?fb_action_ids=4819258480408&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_source=aggregation&fb_aggregation_id=246965925417366

Our Red Sox have some 26.2's ahead of them in 2013 as well, don't they?  We all do!  What are yours?  I look forward to this journey we are taking together.  One.  Step.  At.  A.  Time.......

Bunches of Thanksgiving Graditude along the 26.2 Journey

At this point in time along my journey to 26.2, I am compelled to stop and write about some things I'm feeling especially grateful for.  Regarding the alien living in my abdomen, I discovered that the tumor continues to grow, and am grateful to have it removed tomorrow.  I am truly thankful to live within walking distance to the best medical care in the world.  I am confident in my surgical team, and thankful to be here.

Being in this situation makes me think of my family, who are always there for me, and vice versa, no matter what.  We don't see each other as much as we'd all like, as we all work and are always running around after our kids, but we all know, we're always there.  I'm thankful to live so close to my beautiful family, as my Mom is coming out to stay with my boys while I'm in the hospital.  Thank GOD for that!  What would I do without her.  As I type, she's home in Leominster making soup, sauce, meatballs, etc - preparing to help her Grandsons while I'm out of commission.  Hoping for a speedy recovery - how can I go wrong with Mom's Chicken Soup in my corner!! 

I'm very thankful for the progress I've made toward my marathon, both in mileage and fundraising.   I've worked up to about 6 miles - was to be at 13 by December, but that is on hold right now due to surgery tomorrow. I do still plan to run 26.2 on April 15 - just a little more interesting of a journey now. I'm thankful, as I've posted before, that in addition to my family, one constant in my life has always been exercise.  In addition to being an athlete myself, it is my life's work, my passion, and I'm grateful to have realized it early on in college. 

Related to fundraising for THE Marathon, 2 major events occurred last week, that also cause me great appreciation.  I had my first meeting with Meg Vallaincourt, Gena Borson, Ania Burke and fellow runner Justin Prettyman of The Boston Red Sox Foundation.  We were up in a boardroom at Fenway Park, overlooking the beautiful, historic baseball field that is so precious to my family.  Talking about where our money will be going that we raise for running the marathon.  I could not be more proud to run for this team and it's arms of charity outreach.  The Jimmy Fund, Red Sox Scholars, Home Base program for Veterans, and Dimock Community Health Center.  All these programs touch my life in a very meaningful way. 

My first fundraiser was a great success!  We hosted it at the Nazzaro Center in the North End, which is the site of election polling in the North End.  On election day, we sold coffee, pastries from ALL our local bakeries (Mikes, Modern, Parziales, Bovas, Maria's) and Regina Pizza during the dinner hours!  And so many home made items as well!  Flora Matarazzo, for one, kept sending over fresh hot homemade biscotti and other baked goods to sell.  We raised $2,000 that day (toward my goal of $5,000-$10,000), which I'm so thankful for.  And so appreciative to Carl Ameno, for obtaining all those donations, and allowing me to use his venue for fundraising.  So appreciative to all those who contributed, baked, and volunteered to help me.  This neighborhood is second to none when it needs to accomplish a goal together.  And I hope you enjoy this picture - how's that for NORTH END!:

I am grateful to have discovered today that my dear friend, Kim Walker is training again for the Lavaman Triathlon which is next May.  Kim COMPLETED her first Lavaman last year, overcoming the obstacle of having a STROKE the year before.  This year, she is running for her Mom, who is now ALSO battling with cancer.  I will be adding her Mom to my list of people who inspire me to keep running.  It's WONDERFUL to have such an inspiring ray of light from California to train with, raise money with, and encourage.  Love that our races are one month apart :).  Go KIM !!

So, now I have to deal with this tumor, and face a bump in the journey to 26.2.  A few steps backward.  But I'm running this.  Rosanne will be there the whole way with me - I feel her presence, I know she's my biggest cheerleader now.  So with her, and my sons and family, Carl, and so many amazing friends (like Kim), we're going to get through tomorrow, raise money that our charities desperately need, and run 26.2 together.  I'm appreciative for the strength of the very rich friendships in my life, the old friendships and newer friendships.  How lucky can one girl be???  See you all on the other side of surgery, and THANK YOU for all your love, cheers and support!  I'm grateful to be surrounded by so many wonderful souls.  Happy Thanksgiving to you all, and your families.

The Road Ain't All that Smooth.....Part II

Two weeks ago I swam 2 miles on Saturday and ran 5.5 miles on Sunday.  Monday I did yoga at my favorite gym (Equinox) and ran 3 miles that night after work.  On my way home that night, I was about to embark on a bit of a bumpy road to 26.2.

I was doubled over in pain!  Lasted all night.  Finally Tuesday, after my trusted family doctor recommended for me to go to MGH, I went.  As expected (and the reason I try to avoid the hospital at all costs), I was in abdominal pain, stuck in a bed in the hallway at MGH for 10 hours!!  What an experience.  In those 10 hours, I managed to have blood work done, and a CT scan.  While in the hallway (STILL), the NP came up to me to tell me I have a large tumor in my uterus (about the size of 5 months pregnant - a grapefruit/cantaloupe size), and a polyp on my cervix fighting for blood supply and causing pain.  She said, "GYN is coming in to do a biopsy as we are not sure if it's Malignant or Benign"......and was gone.....  (the older man across the hall from me, also in a bed in the hallway then asked, "Are you a believer?").  I guess MGH is immune to HIPPA regulations?

Gyn came in, did a biopsy, kept me overnight for observation (went to the hospital around noon, got into a room at 10:46 pm!) I had to wait until this past Tuesday for results.  I have to admit, while all the odds leaned toward this being benign, I was so scared!  That week waiting (in pain) for results felt so long.  Luckily, I had a very busy work week and a presentation to our Corporate Officers from Hong Kong to keep me busy!

The outcome - it is a BENIGN degenerating fibroid tumor and then polyps.  Actually pretty common for women my age, but since it was so large, and my body was unable to supply blood to it, it was causing severe pain.  I'd have to have it removed.  Very good news overall, but......what about my marathon?  I was making such progress, and hit a MAJOR BUMP in the road here.  I think about my dear friend Rosanne going to personal training days after chemotherapy, and I know I can do this.  Just need to remember no journey that is truly worthwhile is without pain and obstacles.   In the song Memory Motel, the Stones sing the line, "The Road Ain't All that Smooth", nor is my journey to 26.2.  But one step at a time.......we'll get there!!

Give Me Novacaine

 

Yes, those are 2 anvils.....aka my running shoes!  Even though my actual shoes are Asics 2160's, they feel like lead weights!  Whatever reason....I hope this gets better soon, because it's HARD!! Reminds me of the Green Day Song, "Give Me Novacaine".  

 

What, what did I just think???  No, Maria..... running a little more every day is not hard.  Even with the anvils, it just takes discipline.  Eating healthfully is not hard (and hopefully will result in those anvils getting lighter!), it just takes discipline and self control.  Getting up every day and going out for a run - that is not hard either, just takes going out and taking that first step usually.  What IS HARD?  Fighting for your life when you have cancer.  Now THAT's HARD.  Losing someone you love to cancer or any untimely death - that's HARD!  So the angels that are inspiring me, those who both lost their battles with cancer, and those who beat it, I vow to continue to live each day to the fullest because of you.  Thanks for running with me, and keeping me going, by helping me realize how easy I have it here on this planet.

 

It's funny, I hear these songs when I'm running, and it leads me to this train of thought like the one above.  Fun journey so far......anvils and all!

Runnin' Down a Dream

 

Right now, I'm running down a dream, that's for sure.  Several dreams, actually.   Yes, the obvious one, in SIX MONTHS, running The Boston Marathon with a strong finish.  But on other, possibly more important levels, a dream to be stronger, physicially and mentally, a dream to raise more money for my friend Rosanne's favorite charity, a dream to eat healthier and lose the weight I've gained over the past couple of years.  A dream to inspire my sons to do great things - if Mom can run a Marathon at 49 years old, what can they accomplish?  A dream to overcome the things in life that are holding me back, personally and professionally.

 

These are all still dreams and goals of mine.  Three weeks ago, I was running down the dream to hit the 3 mile mark, and I did that today.  My journey to 26.2 began with one step, and has been multiplying ever since.  As I keep my commitment to this journey, the big day, exactly 6 months tomorrow will be one of great accomplishment.  Thanks for all the support!

 



Everyday is a Winding Road

 

 

 I was running this morning around the North End and Charlestown before work in the rain - thinking about how good it feels to be up and out with the 'club'.  What is "the club?"  There is an entire society of runners out there!  People I pass every day, that now give a wave - those who get out of bed, even on dreary mornings like today to indulge their healthy habit.

 

This morning I did want to throw the covers back over my head, and sleep for another hour, but I knew I'd miss the boat.  Am I getting addicted to this healthy habit?  I got out of bed, hung out with my beatuiful teenage son for a minute who was getting ready for school, and then headed out to my new running journey today.  I joined the 'club' out there running.  Beating the odds.  It was perfect running conditions - 55 degrees, drizzle rain in the air - smelled scrumptious- just perfect.

 

Speaking of clubs - there is also the 'inner circle' club, the Marathon Runners, to which I have never been a part of until now. (pending I make it until April 15!!)   Yes, I've run numerous 10k's and even a 1/2 Marathon, but never the Granddaddy of them ALL.  As soon as a former marathon runner hears that I'm training for Boston in April, there is an instant cameraderie - a bond!  Tbey smile, tell their stories, and immediately connect.  The advice-giving, the 'apps' to add to my iPhone, the diets that I HAVE to try.  The, "have you heard of Jeff Galloway's program?"  Where to buy shoes where people really know what they are talking about - and the ups and downs of the Boston Marathon Route.  These are my biggest cheerleaders - Kim, Stephanie, Lisa, Gordon (one of my wonderful Health Club Members), The beautiful Taylor Lopez of Safar Coiffures,who ran Boston for the first time last year in 90+ degree temps, those who have done it, and KNOW deep inside I can do it.

 

So I'm running along thinking of this today - happy that running feels better and better each day, happy I got out of bed, and am becoming stronger and stronger......this running feels GOOD.....when all of a sudden......  I feel pain in my left knee!  WHAT ?!!!  And it persists.  So I walk a minute, and then go back to running around the Charlestown Harbor (hello Constitution!).  Still there.  Ugh.  I fight it and keep running KNOWING the task ahead of me won't put up with any knee pain.  Then the 'exercise physiologist' in me kicks in, and I walk the rest of the way today.  Until "Sweet Child of Mine" came on my iPod, and I just HAD to run back over the C-Town bridge!  But I digress......

 

Now what do I do?  I have to stick to my program, back up a little.  Yeah, I started out a little strong, so it's back to the Jeff Galloway program for me.  And I need to also build up my quadriceps and incorporate yoga at my favorite gym (Equinox) to stay strong and flexible.  But I'm realizing I'm no longer 30.....  Right now as I type this after work, I have a bag of frozen peas (thanks for the tip, Joyce Stephens and Lynn Bova!) on my swollen knee.  How did this happen?  I've never had knee trouble!   I'm also deciding, the extra weight I'm carrying around has to come off.  Otherwise, I'm in for six months of aching joints, followed by a painful marathon.  I'm scared!  I really want to do this!!  I NEED to do this..... 

 

If any of my fellow club members have any advice, I'm listening :).  I will go out tomorrow morning too and test it, and hopefully it will feel better.

The Road Ain't All That Smooth

 

This picture came from my run today.  On Sundays, I bring Tj and a friend to Latin tutoring in Milton - by Blue Hills, and it's so beautiful and peaceful around there.  I dropped them off, and came prepared to go for a run/walk.  (My run sections are becoming easier and easier by the way!).   I was about half-way through, and running more and more each time, and just looked ahead at the long road ahead - still so far to go.  I was thinking about life, and while (quoted from the Stones' Memory Motel) "The Road Ain't All that Smooth" - the journey is still breathtaking, as you can see by this picture.

We all have our 26.2's.  All have things we're working on, trying to get better at, goals we're working toward.  Today, I'm a few more steps toward my 26.2.  Still a long way to go, and I don't expect the road to be smooth (in fact both my soleus muscles are screaming at me tonight - thank God it's time for a yoga/swim cross training day!), but we'll get there, one step at a time. 

It's Real!

 

I'm running in The Boston Marathon on April 15, 2013! I'm creating a blog to track the journey, as I hear it's quite a long road. The journey to 26.2 begins with one step, and that's about where I'm beginning from!! Right now, in fact, I'm only at the point of alternating days of run/walk programs (run one minute, walk two; run two minutes, walk one). To the angel on my shoulder, Lisa Gallagher - thanks for your support here, and just knowing I can do this!! Thanks for also inspiring me, Stephanie Nelson and Kim Walker!!

Walking along the Marathon route on Sept 9 for The Jimmy Fund helped me realize that I too, could finish a marathon. And that I used to LOVE running. While I swim distance all the time, walk everywhere, and truly enjoy yoga and pilates regularly, I haven't run distances since my sons were born, so I know there is a lot of work ahead. I will use all my exercise physiology background to run a safe race :).

I need to do this, for me and my surrounding cloud of support.  For my Rosanne Ameno - my inspiration.  She inspires me to put one foot in front of the other, and I'm sure will be along the 26.2 journey with me.  Inspiring me and teaching me.    For Alexander Whipple, another toddler who befriended Rosanne at the Dana Farber. For all my family and friends who have battled and lost, or battled and won - but battled with cancer - the true emperor of all maladies. For my Papa, and Willie and Tony......for my Mom and Luisa.....for all the names on my Jimmy Fund t-shirt that took up the entire front side of the shirt on September 9!

I also need to do this for me. I just need to run (Forrest??). My 40's have been so tumultuous- so crazy! Like my life has been in a blender for seasons of this decade. Exercise has always been so healing for me, a constant, a rock. I told myself if I could get a number (it is very competitive to get a Boston Marathon number for charity teams) I would do it!

Yesterday, I heard from The Red Sox Foundation! On April 15, 2013, I'll be running THE marathon for THE most beloved baseball team (yes, even this year) to me. I chose this foundation for so many reasons. One is that the Red Sox Foundation overall supports The Jimmy Fund. There are so many other reasons- as they also support Dimock Community Center, Red Sox Scholars and more. However, I feel that while I run on the Red Sox team on the big day, and along my journey leading up to that day, a lifetime of Red Sox memories will run with me! Memories with my Dad, Grandmothers (one kicking the TV when the Red Sox lost), family, friends who I miss. Friends who are still with me, and enjoy a great day at Fenway!   Rosanne, Luisa, Carl and I at this year's 100th celebration.......14 inning post season games with Joy Hackett, Hannah Karass, and Kim Walker..... My first date, and first World Series game where my son Tj turned 10 at Fenway in 2007 on October 25/26 with Carl Ameno. It all fell into place, exactly as it should be. When I run past Fenway Park, on April 15, as the Red Sox game is going on, I think I may shed a few tears :).

Off in a bit to take a few more steps.......stay tuned! And wish me luck for an injury free journey ahead!